I think there are two types of people in the world: the ones that believe they know things, no matter what/if they know anything and the ones that believe they don’t know anything, no matter what/if they know. It’s not necessarily high or low self-confidence, it’s just that way you see yourself, knowledgeable or not. The way you understand what you learn and the way you feel about applying what you learn.
I am part of the second category, so to speak. No matter what I do, no matter how good it turns out (most of the things I did turned out from good to very good), I always have this feeling of “What the hell am I doing?” and I feel like a fraud. I am no expert in anything, and no matter how much I learn I just find out that there’s a lot of it I actually don’t know nor will I be able to learn. No matter the topic, choose one, you can not be an expert unless you did, re-did and over-did all those things so many times, but even then, there are others that are better. And even then … is it perfect?
Once again, it’s not low confidence, I am certain that anything can be done with logic, research and common sense. It’s just that, without being an expert in anything, I need validation. I did build some concepts and afterwards did the research and found sources to validate my creation, but even then I had the same feeling – “I have no clue what I’m doing here”.
Take this post for example, it’s far from perfect and doesn’t reflect what I feel and say properly. So … what the hell am I doing with it anyhow?
And the academic version of this post: